When we talk about the perinatal period, the focus almost always falls on the mother. But fathers also go through a profound transformation — and that transformation also requires support. The perinatal process does not just affect the person who carries the pregnancy: it involves the whole family, and specifically both parents.
More and more fathers are seeking psychological support during this period. Not because something is “wrong” with them, but because they are experiencing something enormous and they do not have the tools or the space to process it. This article is for them — and for anyone who wants to understand better what fathers experience in the perinatal period.
What do fathers experience during pregnancy and the postpartum period?
Fathers also experience significant emotional changes during their partner’s pregnancy and in the postpartum period. Some of the most common experiences include: fear of not being up to the task of fatherhood, feeling like a “secondary” figure compared to the mother, difficulty finding their own place within the family unit, anxiety about the baby’s health or the birth, and changes in the couple relationship that can be difficult to manage.
In the postpartum period, many fathers describe a feeling of being “on the outside” — wanting to help but not knowing how, feeling displaced by the mother-baby bond, or carrying enormous responsibility (economic, practical, emotional) without anyone asking how they are doing.
Can fathers have postpartum depression?
Yes. Paternal postpartum depression exists and is more common than is generally believed. It is estimated that between 8% and 10% of fathers develop significant depressive symptoms in the postpartum period. However, it often presents differently from maternal depression: rather than sadness, it tends to manifest as irritability, emotional withdrawal, excessive work, or unhealthy escapes.
One of the main problems is that paternal depression goes largely undetected — both by healthcare professionals and by fathers themselves. Because men have often been taught not to express vulnerability, they minimise what they are feeling or do not recognise it as a problem that deserves attention.
Why does the father’s mental health matter?
The father’s emotional wellbeing directly affects the whole family. Research shows that when a father experiences significant anxiety or depression, this has an impact on the couple relationship, on the mother’s mental health, and on the baby’s emotional development. A father who feels supported and resourced is a better support for their partner and a more present, secure figure for their child.
Taking care of paternal mental health is not a luxury — it is a necessity for the health of the whole family system.
What can fathers do?
The first step is to allow themselves to acknowledge what they are feeling. Accepting that fatherhood also involves fear, uncertainty, or exhaustion is not a sign of weakness — it is a sign of honesty and self-awareness.
Seeking psychological support is one of the most effective options. In therapy, there is space to explore the new paternal identity, work on the fears and expectations that come with fatherhood, and develop better tools for communicating with the partner and bonding with the baby. If you are a father who is going through something difficult in the perinatal period, my door is open for you too.
Fathers deserve support too. Discover my psychological support for fatherhood and read about the father’s role in the perinatal process.